It is the hunting season at the moment, but we prefer to leave the wildlife to enjoy this land as we do. The hunts we go on are for much more personal things. When we first moved here, we had no idea where the septic tank was situated. All we knew was that it had been fitted sometime in the late eighties/early nineties and that it was probably enough to accommodate 4 people. As the main house will be accommodating 8-10 people then we will probably need a bigger tank but in order to confirm this, we must find the existing one. The hunt was on…
We spoke to our nearest neighbour Gilbert, who seems to have quite a wealth of information about our property. Probably far more than we could ever hope to have. We asked him if he knew where the fosse septique was. He said that he might have a plan of the property with the tank on it. What? The neighbour has a plan of our property and we don’t? Anyway, he couldn’t find it and he called the last owner but one and asked where the tank had been installed. He told Gilbert that it was about 5 or 6 metres in front of the house towards the river. That narrowed it down a bit, so the digging commenced. Bearing in mind the ground is harder than the runway at Stansted Airport, a few hours passed by. Holes that were hacked out by Andy, a pickaxe and a spade, accumulated around the building. Very deep holes, in various areas but generally between 5 or 6 metres away from the building. "There’s no tank," he said angrily, "I’m not digging anymore." And the tools were tossed aside. I couldn’t even tempt him to recommence by continuing to point out likely areas. Areas that I thought felt softer than others, had a different soil texture than others, areas the moles preferred or didn’t prefer, or areas that seemed to be slightly higher or lower than others. So the front garden that we are trying to make as welcoming as possible, we all know first impressions count, is currently a bit like a large green Swiss cheese. The dog keeps falling down the holes backwards, no matter how many times he does it and we still can’t find the septic tank. The next plan begins at the weekend……………..As long as it doesn’t rain!
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